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Archive for the ‘Real Life’ Category

Joni Mitchell said it best: “Don’t it always seem to go/ That you don’t know what you’ve got/ Till it’s gone…”.

It’s true that hindsight is 20/20, and that our appreciation for things grows over time, but with age and experience I am learning to spot a good thing when it’s right in front of me.

Sometimes though, it still takes a good kick in the ass to make me sit up and take notice.

At a time when I would probably not have otherwise considered a change in career I am suddenly compelled to focus on uncertainty, next steps, and the stress of navigating from the way it is, to the way it’s going to be.

To make a long story short, my current employment situation is in flux. My department is undergoing a much needed overhaul, which in the fullness of time I must admit offers the promise of more productivity and efficiency. In the meantime though, it has shocked me out my routine and has initiated a great deal of soul searching.

Being a realist I accept that at anytime my ‘job security’ is 50/50. At any point I can choose to walk away. Conversely, I’m not so arrogant as to think that no one else could be found to do my job. It’s a cold equation.

What has come as a surprise however is that despite recent distractions, I still love going to work. Everyday I tackle challenging problems which are stimulating, rewarding, and fun. I have access to the tools I need to be creative and productive in a boisterous, supportive environment. Best of all, I get to do it with a group of people I am proud to call my friends.

I think I make casual friends easily, and I’m sure most work environments spawn healthy camaraderie. However our alliance seems different than any professional relationship I’ve experienced before.

While different in many ways, together we are greater than the sum of our parts. We spar with each other in good times, and rally around each other in the bad.  We are a team of Straight-Men (and Ladies), none of us willing to surrender the punch line. We wage combat with relentless verbal jousting and mordant comedy. Always with admiration, never with derision or contempt.

We do our work with a glib nonchalance that is often mistaken by observers as carelessness. To each other though we expose the breadth of our passion, and our commitment to getting it right. Outwardly bashful, afraid of appearing to care too much – we recognize ourselves in each other.

And there’s the rub.

While I scramble to manage the obvious practical considerations of career path, income, and security I am also aware that I am not at all prepared for the possible end of this collective friendship,  – or rather – kinship.

I’m confident that we will always remain in contact, but we will never be as connected as we are now.

On one hand I feel better that I have taken this time to collect my thoughts, Yet, I know it will not cushion the blow when it comes.

Maybe it’s true that we will not really understand what we have until it’s lost. Perhaps we understand it too well. Maybe, that is the luxury of loss.

A recent attempt by a developer to build a non-conforming duplex in my neighbourhood has given me pause to think about what community really is.

The trend in older neighbourhoods like ours is to bulldoze, build substantial structures, and sell. Unfortunately, the huge cost involved in flipping a new construction motivates developers to maximize on the return as quickly as possible, without due regard for what they leave behind. We enjoy some very old, and very new homes, healthy lot sizes, and many large mature trees. I won’t pretend that I know how to design a home that is at once modern and integrates into an existing community, but I it seems obvious to me that it is common sense to try.

The objection from the residents was two fold:

1. The consensus from the neighbourhood at large (not just the adjacent properties) was that no consideration was made for the aesthetic impact of this particular design.
2. There was a clear violation of the zoning bylaws.

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